some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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