drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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