Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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