i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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