I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
