I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
