She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
