i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
