Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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