new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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