Tell her she can't have a vagina
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
