We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
