he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
