Pants 0. Shit 1.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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