ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
