I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
