was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
