Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
