You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
