my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
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I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Couch. On fire.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize