I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
