Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
