I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
