just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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