I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I need moral support for this bender
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
