If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
