I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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