she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
