oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.