So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.