Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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