yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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