The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
