The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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