Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
