By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
