no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
