another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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