Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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