I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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