Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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