I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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