i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
