I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Randomize
