I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
