Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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