Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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