# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
