i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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