I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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