i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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