TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
