Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
