Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
