By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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