How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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