he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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