fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
