So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
