this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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