They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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