I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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