are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
