She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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