She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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