He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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