ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
