smell my finger.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
