Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
