Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
