I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
