How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
