i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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