they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i now understand why vodka
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
