worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I stole a fireplace last night.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
