Im at strip club and am horny
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
