whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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