im six kinds of drunk right now
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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