Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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